Lord of Amer

If I was Goddess of this planet, I know there would not be too many people left because I would certainly first be the angry Goddess and unleash some wicked wrath. Here are my votes for which sinners to wipe out first in the next Flood …

1. Anyone who starts a war in the name of religion, revenge, oil, personal or national gain or encourages the start of a war, manipulates the media and public opinion to get a war started or votes for the start of a war.

2. Anyone who has murdered anyone.

3. Anyone who has raped anyone.

4. Paedophiles

5. Anyone who has tortured or beat people or animals.

6. Anyone who harms others or advocates harming others due to their race, religion, sexual orientation or sex (I think this one takes out about 50% of the planet, if not more)

7. Any executive or voting shareholder of a corporation who puts greed and sickening amounts of profit ahead of the well being and fair pay and treatment of their workers or the health of the planet in their production of goods.

8. The majority of Wall street traders (most of which would fit item 7 given half a chance).

9. Politicians who abuse their power and use it for personal gain.

10. Lawyers and judges who are out for a buck, ambulance chasers, the ones who persist the ‘sue them’ mentality creating a society built on petty greed and no personal responsibility.

11. Anyone who does not accept the simple concept that a political governing democracy does not have to go hand in hand with raging out of control corporations and capitalism, and does not accept that for reasons of public well being, industries need to be regulated and that a ceiling on profits via stepped tax brackets helps control people who would otherwise fall into catagory 7.

12. Anyone who thinks that littering the planet, poisoning the planet, pollution, wasteful or harmful manufacturing practices, animal testing of cosmetics etc. are ‘required’ for ‘free trade’ to ‘succeed’.

13. Anyone who advocates or practices factory farming, destroying the souls of people and animals in this hideous practice.

14. Anyone who will not agree to become vegetarian (yep, I am Goddess and you must respect that one of the first things told to Adam and Eve was that in the garden of Eden Man was given all vegetables and fruit and was told ‘for you these shall be meat’.).

15. And to show just how bitchin’ cool I am – you don’t have to believe in me to be saved. If you are ‘agnostic’ but believe in moral right and wrong, agreeing with these points that’s just fine as well. Whether or not you think your soul will continue on after death is your business – as long as you do no harm in living your life, no harm will come to you.

While the Goddess is at it, I feel like adding on some additional punishment for special cases. Paedophiles and torturers of innocent people and creatures will not only be wiped out in the Flood – they will first be skinned alive by a fierce sandstorm, and then covered in salt for about 90 days before being wiped out in the Flood.

The million or so people who remain after this cleansing Flood (probably lots of Buddhists, Hindus, Humanitarians and Unitarian Universalists) will create a wonderful society of people who are tolerant, helpful to each other and the planet, who care for their fellow creatures without exploiting them to death on factory farms and who are shepherds of the planet rather than rapers of the planet, who believe in values beyond money and personal financial gain. But from time to time if they start to stray too far, I as Goddess would not let it get to the stage we are at now before unleashing another ‘cleanup’.

Edna the dog, baby Benjamin who was left to starve to death for eight days while his parents played video games and so many other innocent tortured, murdered creatures – you will get healed and be reborn, and can join the new improved planet and live out your lives as you should have originally done.

This is what I pray for quite often. 


Dreaming of Drugs and Callous Abandonment

I am in Georgia for 2 weeks for work – far from my home in Chamonix. Learning a new software development tool for a new project to re-write existing software. Exciting stuff if you are interested in programming, which I am not really. I mean, I do it for a living but – it’s not my passion. What bugs me the most is this trip is 2 weeks, and I can’t go home in the middle because it’s too far away, and I could not find cheap flights from here to any of the towns where I have friends or family to visit them either. Next weekend I did find a flight to Tucson to see my Dad who is recovering from cancer surgery that happened a few days ago. I talked to him the day after the surgery and it went well and he’s doing well – says he’ll be training for a 10K by the time I get there next weekend. I hope so – hope he’s going to get back into shape again. The cancer was detected early so we are hopeful it’s not too bad and he’ll be OK w/o need for radiation.

I had a very wierd dream last night that left me feeling empty and creepy when I woke up this Saturday AM. I drempt that I went out with a bunch of people that I’d just met, and did hard drugs (the dream didn’t have me taking the drug so no idea what it was but it was supposed to be something addictive), spending the whole night very high and wandering around the city (an unnamed city but somewhere in the USA).

Part of the dream was the drug trip (though it was supposed to be something like crack cocaine, which I’ve never done, the dream of the drug’s effect was more like mushrooms where I’d be in a place, and things would start to look odd, and then morph into other things, and turn into wild patterns – an entirely pleasant trip actually). In one part we were in an abandoned building, watching various parts of walls and crumbling bits morph and change. Then we left it, and went back to the guy’s house who I’d hooked up with.

The next AM (dream AM I mean, not real life) I could not remember where my dog Kobi was and realized I’d started out that night with him being with us, but now he was not with us and I feared I’d left him somewhere. I was starting to freak out.

The guy was gone the next day and I had not seen him leave, and only these 2 women roommates were there. Then 2 real people I knew from Chicago came over – a lesbian couple, one of whom was Debbie Gould from the old ACT-UP days. They were asking how I was doing and talking about going out to a club and catching up as we had not seen each other in ages (true probably 17 years?).

I wanted to know where the hell my dog was and tried to remember where we’d been the night before and who the hell I had hooked up with – I went into this guy’s room (he was a guy kind of like Lance in appearance, and youth.) I found some odd clothes – sort of girly gothy black clothes. Then, I found his name on some mail – Shawn Clarke. So, I thought, at least now I know his name.

He came in to the house again later, and I asked him where we’d been the night before – he said what, do you mean you are asking me who was I just with at the Peter Pan Movie? (As if I was jealous that he’d been out possibly with another girl that afternoon or something, which I truly hadn’t considered or given a fuck – I was just concerned about Kobi).

I said no, last night – where were we – where was that abandoned building and what happened to my dog. He said ‘oh we dropped that dog like Debbie’s doberman’ and kind of laughed like it was a really funny story. He said – you got tired of him barking and we just put him outside, and that was that and he clasped his hands together like dusting/clapping him off. I said, no! I love that dog like I love my life! I would never do that – I have to go back and find him – where were we? He couldn’t remember the name of the building either, but said the neighborhood might have been some name (I can’t remember now) and maybe the street was __ or __ (can’t remember after I woke up). I was in a panic and about to go out to try to find where I’d left Kobi – I could not for the life of me imagine why I’d do that, even high – why would I leave Kobi or put him outside in a bad neighborhood and abandon him like that. I though – my god from there it might take him 3 or 4 days to come back here and find me. But – would Kobi know his way back here (upon waking no idea where ‘here’ was or why Kobi was in the US with me but that’s besides the point in a dream of course).

I was panicking wondering if I went back to that building, would he still be there, or would he be wandering somewhere through the city on his way to find me or what. I thought, I left Kayla at home why did I take Kobi and do this?? (Now my husband Rob was totally out of this picture as well like he did not exist).

The dream freaked me out even when I woke up and left me feeling awful. I couldn’t figure out why I’d dream something like that because despite in the past times that I’ve ever gotten drunk (and I’ve never done a drug like crack that is addictive and spent a night wandering the city not knowing who I was with or where I’d been the next day either) I’ve never ever done anything to mistreat or abandon any of my animals or in fact any person that I cared about (I had a dog for 17 years in Chicago). I’ve always had this sense of self preservation even when totally drunk to do things like not drive in cars with people who were fucked up, to not trust strangers, to always take my things with me (never left wallets or purses etc. behind) – always took care of me and those close to me. So – I was just flipping out when I woke up trying to figure out what the hell the dream meant. What have I been doing in my real life that is so stupid and so blind that I could lose something super close to my heart? I called home – wanted to talk to Rob and to hear my dog (when I talk to him on the phone from out of town he barks and gets really excited to hear my voice). No one was home, but I got Rob on the cell phone while he was out skiing with friends. Anyhow, it was good to talk to him and get out of that state of mind. But the dream still troubles me.

What am I abandoning, what am I in a Peter Pan not growing up totally blind state about? Should I quit work – is that ruining my life – is it something I’m doing at work that will ruin my life? Crap. Hate mysteries. And that was the first good sleep I’d had all week where I didn’t wake up at 2am (thanks to jet lag. ) Crap – by the time I get home next Tuesday after seeing my Dad I will not be able to wake up in the AMs back in Chamonix anymore. Sigh.


I had a series of bizarre disturbing dreams last night. First I was in an airport in the baggage area when people were loading the plane and realized a baby had been injured – they’d tossed the baby down the baggage chute in it’s chair, and left it there for hours. I picked it up and held it and it looked at me and died.

Then I was in a house unfamiliar to me but it was supposed to be my grandparents house. It was an old log cabin, full of pictures and things on the walls which they’d never finished putting up. I went around finding things I’d sent them and which other relatives had sent them – photos and paintings and things and trying to dust them off and hang them up. As I moved back through the house it became more modern. In the center was a bathing area. I wanted a bath and tried to run some water, but it was running out the bath drain and into the floor. I realized the foor was made of ‘plastic grass’ mats (the kind for outdoor patios that grandmas always seem to have) and that this covered basically an open sewer. I moved further in and there was a real working bath. I started to fill it and some girl came up and started to kiss me. Never took the bath. Then I moved further out into what was the garage but was now a huge open loft all modern bright and beautiful. My grandfather was there working on it. I told him he should make the rest of the house look as good as the garage. He looked at me like I was nuts and said he could never do that.